Reasons to be (un)grateful: Nov 23 - 29

... for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea. 
Isaiah 11:9

A family can be whole one year and broken the next. The annual family photo can be a few faces short for any number of reasons, and those that remain ache from the absence. And when holiday celebrations bring families together, the blend of stress, responsibility, memories, anxiety, and expectations among a band of everyday sinners is a recipe for disappointment.

We entered the "holiday season" this week with the celebration of Thanksgiving and though my family enjoyed the weekend, I'm hesitant to be another whipped-cream storyteller of the internet, swirling yummy curlicues when there are so many whose hearts are hurting. November and December and January are shellacked in festive colors and tagged (or hashtagged) with words like "cheer," "joy," "grateful," and "gladness." But the more holiday seasons I walk through, the more sensitive I become to the realities other people are living when November rolls around and the twinkle lights go up. Maybe there are obvious aches like a fresh divorce, a recent death, or a sudden job loss. But certainly there are private aches too. No holiday table is free from them.

Over the past few months, I've watched one little part of the story God is writing in the life of a friend of mine and she gave me permission to share it. Midway through their process of buying a house this fall, her husband lost his job. The purchase of the new house was threatened by the income loss, and the arrangement of a tenant for the current house (which they intend to rent out rather than to sell) had hit only dead ends. Around the same time, all four wheels were stolen off one of their cars in the middle of the night. The school district in which the new home is located will not be able to serve their special needs daughter, but the only specialized school that had an opening was the one they liked least. One of their toddler's daytime babysitters suddenly quit. It seemed that in the list of "things that can go wrong," nearly every item had been checked. My friend told me that, uncharacteristically, she was not worrying. She had taken the pieces of their life and handed them to the Lord, submitting them to His will. As of this week, the sale of the house was finalized. The move was completed and she was preparing to cook a Thanksgiving turkey in her new kitchen. A spot opened up for their daughter at their first choice school. Another babysitter was wiling to pick up the extra day. And then there was a job offer for her husband, one much larger than ever expected, at a company just 10 minutes from their new home. The new salary meant they could lower the rent on their former home, and they are hopeful that this will bring a renter soon.

I share her story, rather than any part of my own, because I think it's often the stories of others that encourage our faith most. Certainly we have opportunities to see God work in our own lives, but we're often too close to the situations to notice what He's doing. When we get to see a story from the sidelines, the distance helps us see the whole thing as one narrative, rather than facing the episodes as a seemingly endless parade of setbacks.

Pete and I noticed at our church's Thanksgiving Eve service that of the people who shared from the open mic about things they were grateful for this year, most described situations for which one would not be expected to give thanks. It was the disappointments and the struggles that caused people to notice reasons to thank the Lord. Not everyone reaches Thanksgiving - or Christmas - with a story worth sharing in front of the church. Some stories are still in the messy parts when the year ends. But listening to the other stories God is writing, watching how He brings beautiful things out of those dark seasons, and praising Him for the good He has done in other lives can lift a sad heart toward heaven.

If you had trouble making a list of things to be thankful for this week, or if you're looking forward to the work days between now and Christmas because they keep you away from hurtful family relationships, or if the glittery holiday you'd pictured has been muddied by a painful loss, try peering in the window of someone else's story. Don't look for perfection (it's not in their home either). Look for healing. Every truly grateful heart is a heart that's been patched up and mended. And as you humbly turn your bruised story over to the Lord, you can be sure that you'll receive healing too and one day - maybe soon, maybe not so soon - yours will be a story of gratefulness too.